| Am i back again ? |
[10 Mar 2004|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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Suikoden II - Annalee's Song |
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Hurt: Something or someone has caused you a
deep kind of pain. You feel bitter and alone,
and seek out beauty in unusual places. You try
to find comfort but are unsuccessful. You want
to feel stable again.
What emotional state are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Am i back again ? Am i not back again ? Should i come back here ? Should i decide against it ?
I can't make up my mind O_2;
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[10 Jun 2003|06:10pm] |
Random note.
I'm changing my screen name on aim from "NeoMelchior" to "neoheavenDT" . Message/add me if you can be bothered to.
i'll still be keeping my promise. i'll be so quiet it'll be as if i never been there at all
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| I need time for myself, to think about myself |
[07 Jun 2003|08:10pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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Celtic Classics II - Amazing Grace |
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I'm going crazy. Literally.
The past 2 or 3 weeks have been the most miserable time of my life. I don't remember being this depressed and upset since 2000 when i got a set of failing test scores on my birthday. I'm trying to get someone to comfort me without giving me the usual "it'll be okay" garbage, but the only thing which resulted is alot of arguments and fights. Heh, i'm a sad person, i know. Don't remind me.
I won't be around AIM give or take a couple of weeks. IRC, maybe i will be around, maybe not. I can't bring myself to talk to my friends for now. Or my ex-friends. Or the people whom i THINK are my ex-friends. Whatever. I need to leave everyone alone and be with myself.
I've been sick for the past week too. I've been having sudden, drastic chills out of the blue and stuff like that. Been given some medication to help with my condition. I hope i get well.
Bye, to whoever cares.
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[24 May 2003|09:30am] |
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mood |
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Psycho / Lonely / Whatever |
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music |
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Suikoden 2 - Luca Blight |
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I hate everyone and every single thing around me. I don't have any friends. My own friends delude me and stab me in the back. I don't have anyone. No one will let me be happy. I hate everything, i hate my life and most of all i HATE MYSELF !
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| *Sings and dances* Build me up, buttercup ! |
[01 May 2003|08:08pm] |
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mood |
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 silly |
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music |
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The foundations - Build me up, buttercup |
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~*~*~*~*~
Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down)and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
"I'll be over at ten", you told me time and again
But you're late, I wait around and then (bah-dah-dah)
I run to the door, I can't take any more
It's not you, you let me down again
(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time, and I'll make you happy
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo
Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
You were my toy but I could be the boy you adore
If you'd just let me know (bah-dah-dah)
Although you're untrue, I'm attracted to you all the more
Why do I need you so
(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time and I'll make you happy
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo
Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
I-I-I need you-oo-oo more than anyone, baby
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart
~*~*~*~*~
*Sings and dances all over the place*
Wait, i shouldn't be doing this. i have an exam tomorrow O_o;
Oh who am i kidding. I didn't study for it. I'll just sit for the re-test 9_9 I'll have enough time for that.
And i think KK is grounded again. I hope her parents didn't decide to ground her for a long period of time, since it's no fun. Meh ... I miss her. I hope she's doing well, wherever or whatever she's doing.
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| AIEEEEEEE ! |
[14 Apr 2003|06:36pm] |
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mood |
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 rushed |
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music |
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Final Fantasy 7 Soundtrack |
] |
2 more weeks till my finals !! My first exam (Thermofluids 2) is on the 29th ! I'm hustling around trying to polish up my act and doing some last minute revision. I'm not going to be burning any midnight oil, though. It's good that i have that PS2 in my room since i can play my CDs on it while i'm studying (I wish i had a Hi Fi ..).One things for sure; i gotta pass the Thermo 2 Exam, or i'll get booted out of my course. And then i'll get conscipted into the army. And i dont want ANY of that just yet ! I really wish i had some nice incentive or a motive to get my head cracking. Sure, passing grades would be nice. But i want something more.
... Like kittie being around while i bury my nose in my books. Odd that i had a dream while i was studying, when she was looking over my shoulder while i was reading. It's really cute. Heck, i may draw a picture on it when this whole thing blows over. :)
uuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrg ........... i have to wait another 6 Days before i see kittie again. I'm going out of my mind with anticipation @_@. I'd hammer my head against the wall but i have an exam to sit for. :p
Slink just came back from his North Carolina trip and i'm JEALOUS ! I wish i could see kittie that easily. Ah well, there's no point in harping over things i can't change :p
Oh, and i've completed Metal Gear Solid 2 within 3 days of playing. A pretty quick game. It was quite fun, except i was given a stupid and senseless ending at the very end as a reward for going through all times i've fallen off the bridges, got blown to bits by plastic explosives, and getting pumped full of lead. Once my exams are over i'll start on another game. I'm sure i can find something at Shea's.
Back to studying ! And waiting .... for another 6 days ... I want my kittie .... ;-;
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[11 Apr 2003|10:30pm] |
Just a quick little note to tasha.
I'll be online at around 3.30 in the afternoon, dear. Provided my alarm clock can wake me up. hopefully i don't fall asleep like a log again. If we're lucky i might see you then !
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[25 Mar 2003|09:43pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
] |
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music |
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Gensomaden Saiyuki - Alone (Piano Version) |
] |
Ahhh, i love listening to this song. It's so relaxing and i could just lose myself if the singer's voice ...
Anyways, this post is in response to kittiekat's latest post, where she stated that she was told about how she's been told that i havent been online for a while. I'm not sure where or how she got that that info, but in any case, i can say it's not true. I have, however, been putting up my away message more often than usual due to school work, my sudden want to draw alot of pictures, and my recent addiction to fallout 2.
I have been playing that game alot recently. I guess i've got nothing better to do to pass the time. Either that or i'm too caught up in my own little adventure in that game.
26 more days till kittie comes back. i look forward to it :3
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| Woooooo, funkay |
[17 Mar 2003|10:05pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Bossa Nova Ville - One note samba |
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34 Days left till kittie comes back.
I've developed a sudden taste for bossa nova ever since my visit to Stanley's house. Oy. Now i've gotten a new addition to add to my "Lounge-type music i should download". For those of you who want a little taste of this too, go download "One note Samba". It's really nice to listen to. If you find it to your liking, do download the whole Bosa Nova Ville album. ^_^
Anyways, an arty report on my part. I've gotten around to finishing the two anatomy pictures i've talked about in some of my earlier posts. They're currenlty getting outlined and will be scanned soon, collowed by colours. As usual, i won't put the link on my livejournal, so that you're given the option to go see it yourself. It should give you enough time ot decide if you want to see it or not, considering the speed which side 7 moves at sometimes.
Also, i'm sketching out slinkoboy's dtmirc comic, as well as a drawing of Kaliak's character. These probably won't be done until the end of the week. Oh, and i'm considering drawing up something for Jim Russo, a talented furry artist on VCL and side 7. I dont know if it means anything to you, but i find his drawing techniques to be quite adorable, to say the least.
Anyways, i be gone now !
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| There goes the weekend. |
[17 Mar 2003|10:22am] |
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mood |
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calm |
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I guess it's back to school for the week. Bleh. Well at least i had an okay weekend, the best day being sunday since i got to see my little brother play Tenchu 3. Since the game involves ninjas, it's needless to say that it's a whole boatload of fun. With the addition of background music into the gameplay, it doesn't get so boring anymore while i'm running around assasinating people :3
Of course, that game has a couple of odd (and very amusing) quirks about it. The first one would be the discovery of the greatest ninja escape item ! Not the smoke bomb, not the disappearing technique, the greatest escape item of all time is the SLIDING DOOR ! Amazingly, the AI intelligence in this game is so low that they don't know how to open doors, which makes it an amusing sight when i'm watching my brother escape from a whole group of ninjas.
"RUHAN ! You're being persued by ninjas ! Use your smoke bomb !"
"No ! I will use the ultimate escape technique ! DOOR !"
*Door closes behind him and he stops getting chased"
Speaking of the doors, my brother and i noticed that the sliding doors in this game open automatically once you're within a certain range. You don't even have to touch the door handle. I mean what the hell ? I know japan is famous for it's technological advancement, but i don't think that the automatic sliding door was available during MEDIEVAL JAPAN !
OH ! Another odd thing about Tenchu 3 would be the lethalness of stepping on sharp pointy objects. Last i recall, caltrops only cut your foot and slow you down, not give a person an instant death ;)
All in all i suppose the game is okay. I won't be counting on playing the game once i complete it though, since it's got little replay value.
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[16 Mar 2003|08:31am] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
] |
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music |
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DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball - Intro |
] |
Well i'm getting around to do another couple of anatomy drawings for this weekend, a female and a male.
The subject i've used for the female picture is a short haired vixen. I've already finished the sketch and it's waiting to be outlined, scanned and coloured. The funny part is that i've unwittingly created a new character for myself. Yay ! One more character for me to draw ! I'm going to make hera witch of sorts. I dont know why but i somehow felt that a tall witch's hat would fit her. I'm calling her Cecilia for now, since i haven't thought about a last name for her as of yet.
As for the Male, i'll be using a muscular panther (Yes, muscular, for eye candy purposes). It was uncomfortable for me to sketch a nude guy, but at least i've got a rough sketch guideline now to follow at the moment, so it's not all that bad. I'm considering sticking to a minimum detail when i draw in the muscles. With that said, don't be suprised if the picture ends up using a few effective lines to accentuate the muscles. I will be drawing in the rippled body and stuff though.
However, i'll be needing a artistic reference on how a panther looks like. I've also got one thing to say about drawing males too; having a penis doesn't make drawing it any easier
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| Oooooog ...... |
[14 Mar 2003|08:04pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Guilty Gear XX - Feel a Fear |
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Urrrrrrrgh ..... long day ....... i feel so dead .... perhaps having a late evening nap is a bad idea. I feel so groggy and stoned right now and my joints are aching for some reason. Odd, considering that i don't recall doing much excercise today since i was busy with a lot of stuff.
Speaking of events today, i managed to get the results from the Advance machining and inspection test i took the week before the holidays. I got a score of 66 on that test. Wahoo ! Of course it would help me right now if i could remember what i studied for or how much trouble i went to studying ... O_o; And then there's my mechanics test today. I think i'm going to fail the paper since i've forgotten some of my fundamentals. I definitely do NOT want to see the outcome of this one. I'm going to have to study harder on it now though, since i've just blown away a potential 10% on my final semester score. Nuts.
I went to the dentist somewhere in the afternoon too. It's my first trip to the doc's in YEARS. Last i remember i went to the dentist in the final year of elementary school. I havent visited them after i graduated since high school was hell and i had no time. So all in all, it's been a total of 7 years since i've seen them. Wow. I also discovered that i needed 3 fillings for my set of teeth. I was given just 1 for today since the other 2 were not so major and were just small insubstantial cracks, which will be treated about half a year down the road.
It kinda sucks tho, since i've been wishing since childhood to keep my teeth healthy and stuff. Because of that i've been brushing my teeth diligently every single time. With the fillings thing now in, it looks like i'm going to have to take extra precautions. Bah.
I also took a walk around town today after my appointment. And as expected, i got lost and had to wander about a little before i found the bus stop i was looking for. Talk about a bad sense of direction. I feel just like Ryoga from Ranma. Anyways, i took the opportunity to visit the Esplanade, one of the recently opened buildings in the city. Being told that it was a place meant for theathrical performances, it really didn't surprise me to see alot of artistic sculptures lying around and very few stores. I guess there's really nothing much to do there.
I think i rambled on enough. I don't feel really chatty right now for some reason O_o;
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[10 Mar 2003|11:43am] |
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mood |
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peaceful |
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music |
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Metallica - Master of puppets |
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A RED Dragon Lies Beneath!
I took the Inner Dragon online quiz and found out I am a Red Dragon on the inside. Remember Smaug? Yep, Red Dragon. Oh, my friend I'm in good company. Red dragons are the most vile and crafty of all the dragons. They are also the most dangerous of all dragons. As such they are the Fire Elemental dragons. Reds have a nasty tendency towards luring you in with quiet words and soft emotions, then wrapping their scaly tails around you and biting off your puny little human head. Fun, no?
But of course, Reds aren't all about killing and treasure hoarding. I like to invent creative traps, relax in the mouths of volcanoes, fly over vast forests looking for men ...er... sheep (yeah...), and pick fights. My favorable attributes are Summer, the sword, fire, courage, passion, will power, and leadership. If dragons went to war, they'd rally behind me in a snap. Well, me or a Copper Dragon. But those Coppers are wusses anyway, and I could beat one up to take command. In fact, I probably would considering my breath weapon is good old fashioned Fire, and plenty of it. Oh it's good to be the king.
Red ! I always did have an affinity with fire. And it's the same theme as my avatar; bad assed and evil ! No problems here ! >;3
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| Time countdown |
[10 Mar 2003|08:44am] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Command and Conquer - Mechanical man |
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Lessee, since today's the 9th of March (in America), and Kittie's coming back on the 20th of April, that leaves me with about 42 days of waiting left.
........ whew ... long wait. I wonder what she's doing right now.
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| Hee hee hee !! |
[09 Mar 2003|10:20pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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One piece - We Are |
] |
I'm just a barrel of laughs today. I just heard a dirty joke from my mom. She may be 50 this year, but she's got enough immaturity to tell me some of the most dirtiest jokes i've ever heard. It's a little sexist, but what the hell. Not too bad, at least we're getting on a better road in recent days :) . Anyways, read at your own risk !
A woman's reaction to various penis sizes :
9" - Oh shit, that's gonna hurt.
7" - Oh good ! Yummy !
6" - Perfect !
5" - Mmm, okay.
4" - Push harder.
3" - Is it in ?
2" - Dammit just use your tongue !
Oh and i got a new sig for myself too ;3
( http://www.vgmp3.com/images/sigs/ban_him.jpg )
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| Foooooooo ........... |
[08 Mar 2003|09:46am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Frank Sinatra - Mack The Knife |
] |
Okay ..... 40 days without kittie ... i wont see her till easter .... i should be able to do this. I swear it's almsot like i'm going to go through lent too. I'm gonna miss her alot tho. Lets see how i get through this time period.
It's already Saturday. I can't believe it ! The whole week was shot down just like that, and i didn't even do much O_o; . Well ok, so i did some drwaing and colouring, but still it's WAY too fast for the week to end like this ! If it were me i'd make today thursday, so that i could have more time to goof off. Ah well, at least i had fun. I'm going to spend the next couple of days walking around the city. Hopefully there'll be something there that will catch my interest.
Anyways, something art related. I've finally completed colouring in the anatomy drawing pic, and just as i promised in my earlier posts, i would note down some of my observations. The observation notes are all below the diagram. Like i said before, i won't post it here due to the content. If you want to take a look, you'll have to do it yourself. I also drew a colour a picture of Evion, to make up for the ugly giftart i drew for her a year back. In all aspects my previous drawings are okay, but i just felt like doing something new with my revamped art style. I'm also working on a giftart on Crystal, one Sycle's characters. Here are the two links.
Evion - http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=251552
Crystal - http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=252017
In other news, the divorce issue is still going underway, with both my mom and my step dad writing out their affidavites. I'll post more on that when i feel like it. All i want to do right now is keep it out of my head while i colour.
Oh DARN ! I've gotta do Slink's comic O_o
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| Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ! So tired ! |
[02 Mar 2003|09:01pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Bach - Toccata & Fugue in D minor |
] |
Whoooo. Lets see, what ARE the highlights for today .... ? Well first of all, i've finally finished drawing and cleaning up my first ever take on a mature-rated art piece. It took me a while, but she's finally cleaned of those awful pencil smudges. Originally, the B&W version was not to be completed for another few more days. But alas, i made a horrible slip up by compressing my other pic (the one with Melchior and his wings) into jpeg format, saved it, and forgot to revert back. Jee, i'm smart, aren't I ?
I've just wasted a few hours work on that picture.
I'm not gonna do that pic for a good few days. I want to colour that mature pic before i make another attempt at colouring that wing pic. Yes, i'm colouring the nude drawing. I don't know why, but somehow i consider that piece one of my much better works. Yeah sure, the chick's nekkid and all, but she's so well drawn and so cute looking that i just CAN'T leave her in plain black and white.
At any rate, i won't be linking the mature pic here even though it's sitting in my art directory, simply because it's ..... well, nude. I mean i've got a few people coming in here to take a look and read all the junk i write. And some of them might find nude drawings a little immoral and disturbing. So yeah. Feel free to jump into the archive to take a look tho. I need the feed back and opinions on her anatomy.
I went out to watch "The Hot Chick" with my little brother today too. The movie was overall, quite a riot. Unfortunately, there were a few things that took out my full enjoyment for that movie. Firstly, there were too many sappy scenes. Yeah sure, i found the first couple quite sweet, but damn ! Putting 5 or 6 of them in one movie ?! It gets OLD, man ! Another one would be that it tends to be a little bimbo-ish at some parts, especially the beginning. I can't really describe it, but if you take a peek at it, you'll get what i mean.
It's still an okay movie though. It'll be great to go out and watch with a few teenage friends since it revolves around a teenager story setting. However, i'd only go watch it with my buddies if they already decided to see it beforehand.
Man what a tiring day ! MY feet are just plain killing me. I'm gonna kick back and relax for the night.
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| WHAT ?! Neo does m-m-m-m-m-mature art ?! |
[27 Feb 2003|09:31pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Glen Campbell - Like a Rhinestone Cowboy |
] |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I've been walkin' these streets so long
Singin' the same old song
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway
Where hustle's the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There's been a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone
Well, I really don't mind the rain
And a smile can hide all the pain
But you're down when you're ridin' the train that's takin' the long way
And I dream of the things I'll do
With a subway token and a dollar tucked inside my shoe
There'll be a load of compromisin'
On the road to my horizon
But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Rhinestone cowboy
Gettin' cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That song is so cool ^_^ Gotta love some of these western songs. I've been singing it alot at night while i take a walk around. I don't know why, maybe it's because i'm a Rhinestone Cowboy ;3
I've been in a good mood all day today :3 It started out with a normal morning, but for some reason my mood got better on the way back. It's odd that i suddenly became so happy. Of course, it's not like it's a bad thing, so you won't be hearing me complain about it ;3
Anyways, yeah. I've been considering drawing mature art to get a feel of male and female anatomy. After some consideration and taking a look at some of the artwork of my friends, i realized that there's alot of things i'm doing wrong on the male and female physique. I don't know why, but i don't really care about drawing or looking at nude figures anymore. A sudden maturity ? Either that or i've hanged around the DT crew too long already. (Stop giving reasons to draw nakeyness, Neo !!)
....... *throws chalk*
Anyays, looking at my past artworks (and even some of my recent ones), i noticed that some of the body curves are missing. Heck not just missing, but even malformed and ugly. Especially the butt area when i draw pants. I never really gave careful thought about how the pant fold would react around that area. I don't even wanna say what happens if i decide to draw tight leather clothing :p
So yeah. I think i'll go draw some nudity every once in a while, maybe once every week or two, alternating between male and female. A few drawings might help open my eyes to the humanoid physique (I'd use the term "Human" instead of "Humanoid" but i don't think the term would fit, especially since i'm using furries as model subjects). I'll post some of the better pieces in my art directory too just to keep a backup in case my comp decides to fry.
Unfortunately, the only problem i foresee now would be people coming to my art directory and counting some of the mature pieces as "softcore porn", which would get overly irritating. Even more if they decide to mail me asking for yiffy art pieces. Grr. Ah well, it's worth a try anyways. It's not like i'll be posting up any pieces on the art board i visit. It's just gonna remain on my art directory for keepsakes.
In other news i've got my last test tomorrow before the term break. I'm hoping that i'll be bale to pass it. Unfortuneately, it's one of those really boring lessons i haven't been paying much attention to in class, and so i'll have to cram like crazy tonight. Here's hoping that i'll be able to get the questions right in the test tomorrow.
And now ! Back to studying O_o
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| Test week. I hate test week. Fear my angst. |
[25 Feb 2003|06:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 grumpy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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James Last - Like a Rhinestone Cowboy |
] |
I have just one more week before the term holidays. Yay. Of course there's only one problem. The week before the holidays is also the week where i'm bogged down with tests. Actually i only have two this week, The advance machining practical and the theory tests, but man those two are the most BORING ! And because they're boring, i haven't been paying much attention in class.
So therefore, i'm gonna have to study like crazy for the theory test. The Practical is easy, but unfortunately i've forgotten how to read some of the measuring tools. Like an angle measuring thing (no not a protractor). This week is gonna leave me drained. Not only that i won't get to see kittiekat for awhile since she has her projects to do on her weekends, and i'm not gonna see her during her evenings. Blah.
And i'm angsty. Rar. Fear me.
I don't know, i just don't like being me anymore. I'm bored with myself. I just wanna be someone else right now. Don't ask why, it's just one of those really weird things i go through sometimes. I'm gonna see what i can do when the holidays come around. Maybe i can put some excitement in my dreary and boring life.
Any my mother is making noise at me again. I wish she lost her voice so that i can't her her irritating nagging. Rar (more angst)
Here, rough pic i drew for kittie. Enjoy. http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=250010
Rar. *goes off to angst somewhere else*
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[24 Feb 2003|09:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 relaxed |
] |
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music |
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Tonny Benett - I'm Dreaming of a white christmas |
] |
I know it's a little out of season to be listening to "I'm dreaming of a white christmas", but i'm in the mood to listen to some oldies ^_^ . It's so relaxing to hear lounge type music when you're in the mood ^_^
I went out to the Sim Lim Mall to get myself a memory card for my MP3 Player. I ended up with a 128 mb card, and MAN is it too much. I've got alot of my songs loaded and i've still got space which i dont know what to do with ! O_o
It's not so bad i guess. The long term investment will pay off. This is one of those rare times when i'm spending money for stuff tho. I'm gonna try make back my money within the week by getting money for errands >_>
I feel random. Therefore i'll spout random messages. I LOVE KITTIE ! *pouncehuggles her*
Speaking of which i should draw a pic for her O_o *runs somewhere*
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neoheaven's journal